Springboks defining their future as the Wallabies play a game of 'Whack-F**k'

'It was satisfying, it wasn’t beautiful.'

As they ready themselves to face the All Blacks in a few weeks how should we define these Springboks? Is Rassie Erasmus’s team actually definable at this point in their development? Can we pinpoint where they are now? Dare we predict what they are becoming?

The leg loosener against Portugal, the knife-edge tenseness of the Irish grudge matches and the shellacking of the Wallabies showed a Springbok side with an eye on the dreams of tomorrow and an acute awareness of the importance of today. The future will not be built on the hope and memory of success, but through the consistency of performances in the present, the taste of victory driving the desire to improve and embrace change.

The 30-12 win in the wild waters of Perth will be marked in three folders: “Learning How to Play in the Rain”, “The Idiot’s Guide to Dealing with Complacency” and “How to Keep Your Head When the Wallabies are Losing Theirs”.

In Subiaco, the Springboks played an ugly, measured and satisfying game of rugby union. The Wallabies, on the other hand, were playing the equivalent of a “Game of Whack Fuck”. “Whack Fuck”, according to KnowYourMeme.com, is “also known as A Game of Whack Fuck, a TikTok  sound taken from a video of an amateur golfer joking that he was ‘playing a game of Whack Fuck’, then filming his partner hitting a golf shot (making a ‘Whack’ sound) then crying ‘Fuck!’ as it turns out he shanked the shot. Since appearing on the platform in mid-2021, the sound has been used in various videos in which something unfortunate happens, causing a person to cry out in frustration.”

Poor Joe Schmidt, another New Zealander asked to save the Wallabies, tried to mix things up after the 33-7 humbling in Brisbane. The Sydney Morning Herald reckoned that after playing “narrowly and without adventure” in Brisbane, “they chose to take the Wallaby way (in Perth), adding far more width to their game with the cross-field kick frequently employed, with mixed results.”

It was, said Schmidt, a high wire-act of a tactic on a sodden pitch and under thick skies. “We didn’t kind of die wondering, we chanced our arm a few times. In pretty tough conditions because it was tough going to be able to carry (the ball) in these conditions, they actually turned a fair bit of ball over as well. And we survived, scrambled back and survived a couple of early threats as well, which, again, I was proud of the effort that was made.”

Makazole Mapimpi has never been one to die wondering and, at 34, is testament to Erasmus’s willingness to use experience as the base for his evolution. When Hunter Paisami tried a cross-field kick in his own half, Mapimpi caught it and was only stopped from scoring a certain try by Tom Wright smashing the ball out of his arm. He made up for it a few minutes later, his deft grubber sending Aphelele Fassi through for the first try.

The three other tries came from grubbers and grubby work, the accuracy of the lineout and the hard graft of the maul. Marco van Staden got the second before the force of nature that is Malcolm Marx produced two tries from two mauls.

Jesse Kriel and Lukhanyo Am make a heck of a pair in midfield, their partnership and joy in playing together a brightness in the gloom of Perth. When Nic White, the scrumhalf who has somehow recovered from that vicious assault on his moustache by Faf de Klerk two years ago, began to get lippy and shoved Kriel, Am was the first there to put White in his place.

Perhaps that was why White targeted Am in the second half when the Bok jumped to catch a chip. Replays clearly showed White fully aware of what he was doing, upending him with a no-arms shoulder charge that put Am on his head. If it hadn’t been for an earlier knock on by Cheslin Kolbe, White should have walked.

Am did walk away from it, smiling with Kriel as they headed back into position. White was rattled. They would rattle him all game, grabbing him at the ruck illegally, intercepting his short pass that almost led to a try but for Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu’s fumble. Despite the chances coughed up, the win never looked in doubt and for Erasmus the success was in the composure shown and the young players blooded.

“It was satisfying, it wasn’t beautiful,” he said. “The most pleasing thing is the weather and the few things that happened in the game didn't disjoint the team. Though things in the game got disrupted with rain and injuries to their front row and we had to adapt. I’m very pleased. I’m happy for the players who started the game and haven’t had a lot of chances. I think a lot of them took their chances and showed us what they can do.”

How much can this Springbok team do? If this is a hint of what is to come, then they could be the Test team that defines an era.

Scores:

Australia – Penalties: Noah Lolesio (4).

South Africa – Tries: Aphelele Fassi, Marco van Staden, Malcolm Marx (2). Conversions: Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu, Handre Pollard. Penalties: Feinberg-Mngomezulu (2).

Yellow card: Seru Uru (72).

Australia: 15 Tom Wright, 14 Andrew Kellaway, 13 Len Ikitau, 12 Hunter Paisami, 11 Marika Koroibete, 10 Noah Lolesio, 9 Nic White, 8 Harry Wilson, 7 Carlo Tizzano, 6 Rob Valetini, 5 Lukhan Salakaia-Loto, 4 Angus Blyth, 3 Allan Alaalatoa (captain), 2 Josh Nasser, 1 Angus Bell.
Replacements: 16 Billy Pollard, 17 James Slipper, 18 Zane Nonggorr, 19 Tom Hooper, 20 Seru Uru, 21 Tate McDermott, 22 Ben Donaldson, 23 Max Jorgensen.

South Africa: 15 Aphelele Fassi, 14 Cheslin Kolbe, 13 Jesse Kriel, 12 Lukhanyo Am, 11 Makazole Mapimpi, 10 Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu, 9 Morne van den Berg, 8 Elrigh Louw, 7 Pieter-Steph du Toit, 6 Marco van Staden, 5 Ruan Nortje, 4 Salmaan Moerat (captain), 3 Thomas du Toit, 2 Johan Grobbelaar, 1 Jan-Hendrik Wessels. Replacements: 16 Malcolm Marx, 17 Ox Nche, 18 Vincent Koch, 19 Eben Etzebeth, 20 Kwagga Smith, 21 Grant Williams, 22 Manie Libbok, 23 Handré Pollard.

Referee: Paul Williams (New Zealand)
Assistant referees: Luke Pearce (England), Hollie Davidson (Scotland)
TMO: Richard Kelly (New Zealand)